Last Time Breastfeeding

I just finished breastfeeding Vivian forever. I know that it is time. She is ready to stop, I think. But I will always miss it. It is such a wonderful time of closeness and I am so proud that we have been able to go for so long, that she has been so healthy and grown so well in part due to my feeding her. It was a pretty hard won battle. From her refusal to take bottles early on, to the clicking sound that wouldn't go away, to having her frenulum snipped and then her nursing strike, to finally getting into a really good groove. And now it is over. I am going to Chicago for three days beginning tomorrow morning. And so the last feed, the one right before bed will be history when I return. I think this is the best way to do it, to just go away. When I got the job offer a few months ago I thought to myself that that would be when I would stop breastfeeding and now here we are. I never planned to go for 18+ months and I do want to stop before we get into a whole negotiation thing where she is talking and asking for my boob. But I definitely feel more than a little bit sad too. I have loved those moments of closeness and it has given me precious alone time with Vivian. I may never breastfeed a baby again. Strange to have that completely behind me now, if it is. Regardless, Vivian will never breastfeed again. A very big chapter is closed. And our daughter has taken her first giant step towards separation and independence.