To Vivian, Four Years Old

This letter is a bit overdue in part because I'm just overwhelmed even thinking about writing it. The pressure to try to encompass everything about the amazing, fun, funny, interesting, adorable three year old you were is intense.  So I will just begin by saying that there is no way I can achieve that. I just hope that I can remember some highlights of the past year and tell you a little bit about who you are now.

I would be lying if I didn't confess to being a wee-bit sad on the occasion of your turning four.  Three is kind of my favorite age (except that every age is turning out to be kind of my favorite) and it doesn't look likely that I will ever live full time with a three year old again.  On the last point I'm kind of okay. I don't really want another three year old. I want YOU at three.  I want the little girl whose constant refrain -- especially when she wanted her older sister to give her a break -- was "I'm only three!" 

About a week before your fourth birthday you started saying, "Goodbye three, Hello four" which I think you picked up from Grandpa. Another good Grandpa-ism you adopted this year was, "Adieu adieu adieu...Remember me..." 

Your birthday was a bit confusing for you this year and I think this might be the last time that is true. I was reminded of last year when, on your birthday, you kept asking, "Will I ever be two again?"  This year, on August 28 you woke up with a big smile on your face and declared, "Today it's MY birthday!!" Turns out that we'd told you (in response to your frequent queries about when was your special day) that it wasn't going to be your birthday until after Stella's birthday.  So lo and behind, the day after Stella's birthday, you were ready!  I tried to explain it to you but I don't think you really understood because the next day you asked again if it was finally your birthday. Then several days later you asked me if I canceled your birthday. But once we got home from Nantucket and started planning your party and going to your friends' birthday parties, you sort of started to get it.  

You had school in the Silver Room on your birthday and I picked you up and took you to a special lunch at Alice's Tea Cup.  You wore fairy wings (briefly) and had a wee tea and they gave you a chocolate cupcake to take home.  However, you insisted that you were not four yet and would not be four until you blew the four candle out on your Rainbow cake.  The Rainbow cake was the cake we designed together for your friends party.  Daddy and I had to go to a Silver Room curriculum night on your birthday so we postponed our family party until Thursday night.  That night, Grandma and Grandpa and Grandma Roz and Steven and Sonya and Jocelyn all came over for dinner.  We had apple chicken, salad and pizza from Two Boots and cupcakes that I went all the way downtown to Baby Cakes to get.  You got lots of presents which you enjoyed opening.  Pretend stuff and spin art and a remote control dog on a skateboard.  I think your favorite part was opening the gifts.  

On September 28 we had your friends party which was a cooking party at Taste Buds Kitchen.  We made pizza and decorated cupcakes. Lots of your friends came and you were so happy and such a good hostess.  Finally you blew out your candle and then you were four!

It was a super fun celebration of you which is something I celebrate every single day. You've brought more joy into my life than I ever could have imagined. Love, Mama