To Stella, Two and 3/4

Dear Stella, 2 and ¾,

Hi. It’s me. Slacker Mom. Not doing very well keeping up with this blog these days and the reason is the same. There is just too much to write – you are changing so much every month, that I feel overwhelmed whenever I try to sit down and write this letter.

You are more like a little companion than ever and I am so enjoying our days together. In the morning you will frequently ask me, “Where we going today?” and at night when I say “Now go to sleep because we have a big day tomorrow” you will always ask what we are going to do. Then first thing when you wake up you say “Let’s go to New York Kids Club” or “Let’s go to Grandma and Grandpa’s house” or “Let’s go to Poppyseed!” or whatever it is that I told you we have planned. Your enthusiasm for all your activities is infectious and it is such a pleasure taking you places. Everything is an adventure that you delight in.

While you have unbelievable enthusiasm for all things, nothing tops your enthusiasm for food, particularly what you call treats and which you ask for frequently. I do feel responsible for giving you the sweet tooth gene (it didn’t come from your father though we are slowly but surely converting him as well). In spite of your passion for food with little to no nutritional value, you do proudly show your muscles and attribut them to the fact that you eat your vegetables and that you eat your cupcakes after dinner. When you want an after dinner treat, you like to know all the options that we have so I will tell that you can choose, for example, a cookie, a fruit leather, or a lollipop. You will think hard and then declare, “It’s a hard choice.” You love leather and lara bars as much as you love chocolate. I’m happy that you are such a great, adventurous eater. Even if I tell you that something is very spicy and I don’t think you will like it, you most often will say, “Let me just try it” and sometimes you even like the spicy things.

About a month ago, we entered a very interesting phase known globally as the Toddler Climbing Out of Her Crib phase. It was quite a surprise the first time I was sitting in the living room and next thing I knew you were standing by the door of your room timidlly calling, “mama.” It has only happened a handful of times and even though we know how adept you are at climbing, it is still pretty shocking to see you so independent in that way. You also sometimes nap in our bed and will get up yourself and come find us rather than calling. It is so adorable to see your sleepy little face coming around the corner looking for a grownup.

Uncle Steven has affectionately called you a “ragamuffin” and, for a long time, it was a perfectly apt noun for you. While all the other little girls at Poppyseed wore barrettes or braids and were perfectly coiffed, whenever I picked up a hairbrush you would run to the other side of the room. Nary a hair accessory had seen your hair for months. And then one day recently, you woke up and asked me to make braids “like Dorothy” and an entirely new Stella was born. It is so strange when one phase ends and another begins. I become so aware of how time is passing and, even though it’s true that this Mommy thing does get better and better, it is so hard not to feel nostalgic for yesterday’s version of you.

Grandma Phyllis and Grandpa Joel came to visit us and you had such a wonderful time with them. You were so excited to show them all your toys and your art project! Oh your art project. Forgive me, I digress but digress I must. After months of taping all your beautiful art projects up on your door and on the refrigerator and stacking the extra ones in various places, I had an idea to hang clothesline in your room and put your work up clothespins. I told Daddy the idea and he loved it. Loved it so much that he immediately went and got all the necessary supplies and one night when I was in tech, you guys put up every single piece of art you had done. Daddy didn’t just hang one clothesline as I had imagined but, rather, three. You guys covered your entire wall with all your beautiful paintings, drawings, collages, etc. Daddy told me you ran around the house collecting everything, making sure that they were all hanging up. You love it so much and are really proud to show it to anyone who comes over. And so you were very excited for Grandma Phyllis and Grandpa Joel to see it. You were also excited for Grandma to come with us to Poppyseed to meet Lily and all your friends. Shortly after we arrived, you grew sad that Lily (who you adore and monopolize) was playing with Dylan and Kendall. You lay on the ground face down, your head buried into the floor. After a few moments, I went over to you to see what was going on. You looked up at me and blood starting gushing out of your nose. We ran into the bathroom, my linen jacket and your new flowered dress from Grandma and Grandpa covered in blood. It was a little traumatic even though you said it didn’t hurt. There was so much blood! I called the doctor and he said that it was nothing to worry about if it weren’t a recurring incident. I guess you just broke a blood vessel in your nose but, did I mention there was SO MUCH BLOOD! Since then, I have told and re-told that story to you thousands of times and whenever you see the flowered dress (which I miraculously and successfully laundered – along with my linen jacket), you remember that that was the bloody nose dress.

You are an incredibly curious little girl and ask frequent questions, as you should. Sometimes you ask things to which I don’t know the answer. However, whenever I tell you I don’t know, you will say “Just make up a story”. And then I damn well better make up a good one or you will demand that I make up another. This has been very good for the creativity in our family since Daddy and I make up stories in answer to your queries all day long.

One night at our weekly Sunday dinner at Grandma and Grandpa’s house, Uncle Steven started playing a game with you, teaching you how to rhyme. He would say, “Stella can you think of a word that rhymes with tune” and then hold up a big giant hint, a certain piece of silverwear. After noticing the hint, you would should “spoon!” After doing this multiple times, you really got the hang of it and since then love to come up with rhyming words. You will say “Light, night, rhyming words!” And sometimes “pick up, look up, rihyming words!” You do delight in language and have made some good connections like “Daddy Warbucks and Daddy David”.

In addition to potty training which truly was the world’s greatest birthday present, you were a wonderful birthday companion. We had such a great time in Central Park, visiting Daddy at the Delacorte and walking barefoot in the grass. Later we met Daddy at Isabella’s for dinner and then went to Magnolia for cupcakes.















My original birthday plan had been to go out with Danny but that was aborted when you decided to potty train. Because I wanted to be sure we sealed the deal and kicked those padded poop catchers to the curb, I didn't want to risk a sleep-over at Grandma and Grandma's in the midst of such a momentous occasion. Great friend that he is, Danny volunteered to just come hang out with us instead.













We left Magnolia to met up with Danny, you with your cupcake in hand. You were running down the street emanating pure joy when you must have squeezed your cupcake causing the top to fall off and land on the sidewalk. This was a particular tragedy because you really only eat the icing – I’m not even sure you know the cake part is edible. And so you were instantly horrified and started crying hysterically. I had the rest of our cupcakes in a box but you really wanted that one, the one you dropped. I vaguely contemplated picking it up when a woman came along and stepped on it and then angrily stomped up the street her shoes covered in icing. Then I realized we were only a block or two away from Crumbs. When I told you we could go get a cupcake with M&M’s on it, you immediately stopped crying and that is what we did.














It was just a beautiful, wonderful day. Thanks.

One day recently we were talking about what we were going to do that day. You said, as you often do, that you wanted to see your beloved cousin. However, you didn't say "Cyara" as you have for as long as you've been saying her name. You said "Clara" clear as a bell. You knew immediately from the look on my face that I noticed your perfect pronounciation and you said it over and over again demonstrating how your tongue was making the L sound in your mouth. We called up Grandma and Grandpa so you could say it to them too. They were equally impressed. This kind of thing happens all the time now. By which I mean a moment in which I am simultaneously so proud of you for a new accomplishment and so desperate to stop time and keep you exactly as you already are.

It is too bad I don't really love you that much.

Love,
Mommy