Dear Vivian, 35 months

I know it has been ages since I've written to you and, although it defies logic, part of the reason is that I am just overwhelmed by the sheer volume of things to write. You say and do absolutely adorable and precious things every single day and I think to myself that I should write about them and then I can't remember what they are. Or I am just so tired at night that I feel daunted about the prospect of trying to write you a letter that is worthy of your amazingness. I know that this is silly. I am going to write to you about who you are RIGHT NOW and then I will try to recap some big events of the recent past (like the fact that you are no longer wearing diapers). You are seriously the most fun two year old ever. In part this is because you are so reasonable and flexible. You don't have the typical two year old tantrums. What will happen instead if there is something you really want to do that is different from what I want you to do is the following, for example. You will say, "Mommy, can I have a swirly thing that's minty?" and I will say, "No Vivian. No candy today." And you will say, "Please, Mommy. I really need a swirly thing that's minty" and I will say, "Vivian, you have already had too much sugar. Let's get something healthier" and you will say with annoyance, "Oh, fine." We are in Nantucket right now with Grandma and Grandpa, Clara, and Steven. Sonya was here last week, Jocelyn is here now. Everyone is utterly charmed by you. Some of the very precious things have happened since we have been here: One morning while making breakfast, Grandma Helaine, Stella and Clara were discussing allergies and Stella told them that she was allergic to pineapple. A little while later, Sonya woke up and you told her, "I'm allergic to waiting for you to wake up." We were all by the pool getting ready to go swimming. You looked at Grandma Helaine in her bathing suit and asked her, "Are you going swimming?" When she told you she was you asked, "Where's your hat?" (This is mostly funny because it is true that Grandma usually swims in a big sun hat.) You were playing alligator in the pool with Uncle Steven and he was trying to eat you. You asked, "Why is Uncle Steven trying to eat me? I'm not junk food." Every night after we take a shower (with the magic wand -- you love a shower with a wand!) and get dressed, you tell me to shout down the stairs before you make your grand entrance, "Dun duh duh duh -- PRINCESS VIVIAN." Having a conversation with you is so fun because you are super verbal with a lot of smart things to say and ridiculously cute expressions. Today as I put you in the stroller to take a nap, we had a talk in which you told me that big girls don't nap, only babies nap. You seemed surprised to learn that Clara napped until she was 5 and Stella napped until she was 4. You never ever want to go for your nap so it takes some persuading, and some Monkey and Bear puppet shows where they talk about how tired they are and some other cajoling to get you into your sleep sack. You have been somewhat cooperative about napping even though you really don't want to do it. And you are generally asleep within five minutes and for almost two hours. In the past month we have moved from crib naps to stroller naps and that seems to be working better. You were really fighting the crib nap hugely. We did try abandoning the nap altogether for about a week in June but that ended up being disastrous as you got so over-tired after about three nap-free days. You are sleeping in an air mattress in the walk-through closet and you LOVE it. You are excited that you are in a big girl bed but you also seems to just really love your cozy room. I guess you will not be able to go back into a crib when we get home. You also have not had or asked for a bottle since we have been here. You have, however, become obsessed with monster yogurt. If I would let you, you would have four or five a day. They are these tubes of organic kefir with monster faces on them and I sure hope they are healthy! You love it when I chase you around the house -- especially at bed time. And you love playing hide and seek which you are really good at. Probably your favorite game in Nantucket was something Uncle Steven invented called Rabbit Tag. Whenever he shouted "Rabbits in the field" you would get the biggest smile and your face and just be so so excited to play. As I write this I realize you are generally pretty much up for any game, anything fun. You love swimming in the pool -- especially with Grandpa. You jump in onto his head or he carries you like super girl. When he throws you high up into the air, you invariably do a very wide and impressive straddle. You love finding the hot spot where the hot water comes out when the pool heater is on. One time you looked at Grandma and said, "I have the hot spot. Be jealous." You love gymnastics and are remarkably good at it for your age. You fearlessly attempt handstands and cartwheels in imitation of Stella and Clara. In general, you are not a fearless kid. Sometimes in the playground you will call to me and say, "I'm scared" and ask me to help you figure out how to climb up on something. I admire your ability to express your fear but not have it get in your way too much. It is also a new thing to me because Stella was so totally without fear and would climb anything. But I try hard to stand back when you are comfortable trying something on your own or to help you as much as I can when you want help. Mostly these days you are into doing things yourself. You do not want me to help you put on your shoes or your socks. Well, sometimes you ask me to get them started but you get really upset if I do too much. And with your mary jane shoes, you love to pull the straps all the way out and then put them back in and "flip them around" to velcro them. You are very capable and I sometimes feel that I am nearly out of a job. To backtrack for a moment, I want to write about some important things that have happened in the past, gulp, five months since the last time I wrote you a proper letter. I know that I am not going to remember all the hilarious, smart, adorable things that you have said. I know this especially because just this past week, you said something and I remember thinking to myself, "I should write this down so I can blog about it later." Then I thought to myself, "Oh, I don't need to write it down. I'm not going to forget this." And then, of course, it was totally gone from my brain that very night. Like I really sat and tried and tried to remember and I couldn't even recall what the topic was. So forget a satisfying recap from as many as five months ago. Nevertheless, there are some things that need to be noted because I will surely remember even less five or fifty years from now. Miraculously, you potty trained really early and practically instantly when you were just a bit more than 2 1/2. Then after about five days of having very few accidents and peeing in toilets all the time, you started having constant accidents. Peeing all over the house, on me in restaurants, just wherever. One day at "school" (Museum class), I asked you if you had to pee and you told me you didn't. I tried to insist we try but you were adamant that you didn't need to go. Five minutes later, you peed on the floor. Then you started wanting to wear underwear but totally refusing to go anywhere near a toilet. This was a problem. I didn't know what to do and I started getting a little stressed. Should we go back to diapers? Stay the course? You were especially opposed to going to the bathroom with Grandma. She was at a loss as well. Eventually I decided to just tell you that it was your choice if you wanted to wear underwear or a diaper but if you chose underwear, you couldn't just pee whenever you wanted. Somehow the message got through and after about a month of loads of accidents, you just stopped having them and got really good about using the bathroom. Grandma got tired of doing music class with you and thought maybe an art class would be a good idea. You love going to the Children's Museum of the Arts for their drop in classes (how you love the teacher Annie who is always there!) so it seemed like art class would be a good idea. After much research, Grandma found a class and she and I took you together the first day. It was only you and one other girl. You did not like it very much. You participated a bit but you also cried quite a lot. So much so that I was not able to leave you there with Grandma. Maybe you would have done better if I wasn't there at all but it was too late for that and you were pretty unhappy. When we left, you told me that you didn't want to go back. You didn't like the class because, "the teacher had mean hair." The teacher was actually (coincidently) my friend's sister and she has lovely hair. But it was very long and brown so maybe witchy to you ? Needless to say, we didn't go back. Instead you guys took a class at Kidville which Grandma wasn't crazy about but which you LOVED. We had an amazing time going to Nevis with Grandma Helaine although my camera was stolen on the plane home so I have no photographs to prove it. You had so much fun on the beach and in the pool and Grandma was a great travel partner. She came because Daddy had to work but I really really wanted to go away after I was finished with "Regrets". You love to ride your scooter and you do some pretty daring tricks. The favorite is putting one of your legs way up behind you and scooting (fast) on one leg. Scary for Mom. You are crazy about dogs and want to pet every single one that we pass on the street. You know that you have to ask permission from the dog owner and you do. Then you usually ask, "Does he bite or lick?" You also enjoy playing with your stuffed dogs and, along with Stella, ask me just about every day if we can get a dog. Grandma is your personal manicurist and you adore having your nails painted. You are very specific in choosing which colors you want. Then you worry for quite some time whether you will "smash" them. Like the day after Grandma has painted your nails a particularly fetching color you will ask, before getting into the bath, "Is this going to smush my nails?" And you are not happy when you get a chip. You love swings and junk food. You enjoy climbing up onto the counter by using the handles of the drawers as steps. You love long hair and, when I am making a pony tail you tell me you want a long one. Then after it is made, you are often disappointed and tell me you want me to make it look like Stella's. You frequently ask, "Does my hair look long?" or ask if your ponytail is swinging. If you weren't my daughter, I would be very very jealous of the woman who got to be your mom. You are the most fun child imaginable and I love every single minute of being with you. Thank you for the privilege of being your mom. Love, Mommy