To Vivian, Three Years Old

I really cannot believe that you are three. You apparently cannot quite believe it yourself because all day Monday you kept asking me how old you were and then you would say, "Will I ever be two again?" Whereas before your birthday whenever anyone would ask how old you were, you would generally answer "Seven and a half", you were very happy on Monday to proudly proclaim your proper age. There is much to write about the amazing little girl that you are but I think I will just take you through the events of the day of your birthday which should provide an excellent window into who you are. I woke up to the pitter patter of little feet traveling from your room to mine. Also the sound of squeaky wood floors but that is a different story. I waited to see what you would do and you quickly found your way to me. You gently patted my arm and when I stirred, you ducked down hiding from sight. This went on for a bit before you asked me to get up with you. You told me, "I want a monster yogurt" and I had to remind you that we had no more as you had already cleaned us out by eating two or three a day until they were gone. As we went to the kitchen, you noticed the decorations that Dad and I had put up. We hadn't fully taken everything down from Stella's birthday so they didn't quite have the impact they should have had but you were very happy to learn that these were YOUR decorations and not Stella's. Eventually Stella woke up and rather than her usual hiding and spying on us, she said, "Happy Birthday, Vivian" right away. I asked you if you wanted to walk to school through the park so we could see all the dogs and you said yes but quickly followed it up with, "I don't want to go to school." You are having a really hard time with the start of school which sucks. Fortunately, however, I know what a wonderful school it is and how great the Sun Room teachers are and I have a lot of confidence that you can do this and will love it. And really your hard time is 1/100th as hard as Stella's was so I can handle it too. We had breakfast and Dad got up and we did our family moment at the door with everyone wishing you a great day. Then you and I went to get dressed. Shortly after they left, Daddy called us and told us that Stella's shoe broke on the way to school. Our plans changed slightly because we now had to make a stop at Trinity. We got to Trinity and you were very happy to get a chance to see Stella's classroom. Her teacher was nice and let us go in to see her Lego structure and the tidepool that they were setting up. Sadly, five crabs had died so we watched Ms. Dumas fish them out. Then we went back downstairs where you told the guard it was your birthday. We decided to walk through the park and discovered that there were many fewer dogs walking up in the 90's than closer by our apartment. We got through with enough time to spare and you really wanted something to eat so we stopped and got a corn muffin. Then we continued on to school. I was trying to get you excited about the fact that you were starting the day on the playground at school -- not just looking at it but you were going to get a chance to play. We walked up the stairs and you got a red smiley face sticker. Then we went to your classroom and read the schedule and I took you to the Heitner terrace. You looked really fancy in Stella's tooth fairy costume skirt and a cute shirt and your hair in five braids as you requested. But when we got to the terrace, you started crying hysterically. Jennifer suggested we walk around together and look at all the fun things to do which we did. But the time outside was cut short and you cried the whole time and never got to play. You had a slighty better time in the classroom where you held my Raggedy Ann doll and played a little bit. You also cried a bit and came to see me a few times to make sure I was staying in my spot right by the Sun Room door. At one point you discovered that you could see me in the reflection of the door window and we waved to each other a lot of times. You stopped crying enough that, when you were dismissed, all the mom's didn't clap for you as they had on Friday. This ended up being quite a disappointment to you. Also, I discovered an art project that you had done the previous week. Everyone did dot art paintings -- some filling up their whole page with lots of colorful dots. Your painting had exactly two dots on it letting me know just how much fun you were having at school! After school, we visited Lynn and Lori in the Red Room briefly and then had to hurry to get to a meeting at Playwrights Horizons. When I told you we were meeting with Mark you said, "Oh I LOVE Mark" with so much enthusiastic inflection. In fact, you have never met Mark but that seemed to make no difference to you. I also told you we were meeting with Japhy who you actually may have met but you just looked at me quizzically like who the hell is Japhy. You speak with so much inflection and such great expressions that pretty much everything that comes out of your mouth is super incredibly adorable. I am trying to make a lot of little video tapes of you because it is just otherwise impossible to capture the depth of cuteness that is you. And I am not the only one who sees it. Almost everyone we come into contact with comments on how ridiculously cute you are. It's unusual and awesome. You were very good in the meeting and even gave your opinion about something we were deciding on. And your thoughts were the same as mine and Mark's and Japhy's proving that you also have good taste. After the meeting, we stopped at Amy's Bread to grab a sandwich but there was nothing there that I thought you would like so we headed up to Irving Farm to do the same and then go to the nail salon. Alas, the grilled cheese that I ordered for you had lots of mustard on it so instead, you shared my salad. You loved the bacon. And you enjoyed reminiscing about the spicy grilled cheese I made in Nantucket. It turned out spicy because I cooked it in the same cast iron pan in which Grandma had made roasted pecans. I didn't believe you when you told me it was spicy until Stella concurred and then I tasted it myself. We had washed the pan so it was pretty strange. Anyway, it is now a fun fact that you like to recall. So after we shared our salad, we headed to the nail salon which was the big activity of the day. I think you kind of couldn't believe that you were going to get to go. For awhile I've told you you could go when you were three but, even though you were having a good time telling everyone it was your birthday and that you were three, I think a part of you didn't totally believe it. It was something of an ordeal choosing the color for your nails but you eventually settled on sparkly pink and a pale-ish blue, deciding to alternate on both your hands and feet. I walked you over to your pedicure chair which had been nicely modified for a three year old with a big pillow thing and a white basin on top of the sink. However, you became very shy and scared and buried your head into my leg and started crying. I thought everyone in the salon must have thought it was totally insane that I was forcing my three year old to have her nails done. You asked me if you could sit on my lap but I explained that there would be nowhere for my feet to go but that I could hold your hand and stay right next to you. Truthfully, I was desperate for my own pedicure so I secretly hoped that I would not have to stand next to you but that I could sit in the chair. I asked if you would just sit in the chair and test out the water. Somehow, once you sat down and put your feet in, you calmed down. I stayed next to you holding your hand for a bit then asked if I could sit in the chair next to yours. You said okay and then proceeded to have the very best time ever. You asked a zillion questions about every product, "Mommy, what is that?" "What is that?" and I had to keep asking the ladies about the things I did not know. Then you told me that my sink was plastic but that yours (which looked more like white porcelain) was better because it was a tub. And you narrated your entire pedicure. "Now they are doing the soap? Mommy, what is that? What are they doing to you now? I like my color." and on and on through the whole thing. It was super fun and you were really happy with how everything came out. You were also extremely patient when you had to wait for them to finish my nails and then for me to use the dryer. And you were excited to get a few candies from the bin they keep on the front desk. Then it was time to head home for your party. On the way, we stopped at Magnolia to pick up cupcakes and you were pretty decisive when it came time to pick which ones to get. Than we went home though I had to run out to pick up your balloons and pizza. Stella had a piano lesson and you get really excited when her teacher Anna is coming over. I picked up the balloons and a few other party things and came back. Each time the buzzer rang you got so excited. First was Grandma Roz and then Daddy. Finally Grandpa came and after awhile we had to sit down to eat because Daddy was going to have to leave to go back to "Annie". Eventually Grandma Helaine came and she ate dinner and then we opened presents. We got you your very own big girl bicycle and you had the greatest reaction when you saw it. You tried sitting on it and then said, "I'm so happy I got a bicycle" with the most beautiful sparkle in your eye. It really made us all feel good. You got a lot of other good presents too -- art supplies, legos, etc. -- and you were very enthusiastic about everything. We are planning another party for you in a few weeks where we will also have a "gumpiata" (what you call a piñata) and face painting (one of your very favorite things). I think there is no amount of celebrating your birthday that would be excessive as your birth is truly one of the very great events of our lives. You bring a ridiculous level of joy to all of us. I think this is a good time to note a few other really fun things about you: You call the police "the gumplice". You call the piano "the gumpiano". Speaking of gum, you love to chew it. You copy Stella to a degree that is really insane. Pretty much anything she says, you say. Anything she has, you want. Anything she wears, you want to wear. You so look up to her and want to emulate her in every single way. She is pretty good about not finding this annoying and allowing you to basically pretend you are her. You even co-opt some stories from her life as your own. And once in awhile you tell people your name is Stella. Often you tell people you are 7 1/2. You've had a couple other alter-egos. For awhile, you insisted, "I'm not Vivian, I'm Izzy." Then Izzy became "Rainbow Flower". Then "Rainbow Flower" became "Campbell" (after the lead girl in BRING IT ON. I was very confident that you would like to take the Chelsea Piers gymnastics class for 3 year olds because of how much you LOVE gymnastics. However, you were very miserable about separating -- even though you could see me upstairs. And so we have transferred back into the 24-40 months old class which is too easy for you but where you are very happy. Watching you and Stella do a show of BRING IT ON is a true pleasure. You are usually one tiny half beat behind Stella and kind of try to pretend you know the words but you also spend a lot of time "backstage" waiting for Stella to motion for you to come out. You guys do a lot of lifts and whenever she picks you up, you do these really graceful crazy moves with your very flexible body. And whenever you fall down, you make it look like it was on purpose and part of some interesting modern dance move. I have to admit that I am a little bit sad that you are three and suddenly looking and seeming so much more grown up -- all little girl and no baby. You are also insisting that you are "big" and not "little" which is true, I guess. But I am also so grateful to have had the most wonderful three years with you. I can say without any hesitation that I enjoyed every minute of your babyhood as did Daddy and Stella. We have all enjoyed watching you get this far and are so very excited to see all the ways in which you will continue to grow and develop. Thanks for allowing us to share your life with you. We love you so much. Happy happy birthday, Sweet Vivian. Love, Mommy