To Stella, nineteen months old

Dear Stella,

One of the big themes this month is nostalgia for all the things that you have already outgrown. When I think about it, of course, this has been a constant throughout our time together. I have felt nostalgia for the bassinet, breastfeeding, those amazing little brown athleisure shoes that you outgrew. But somehow it all really hit home this month. I think it is because you no longer call me Mama. My new name is Mommy. And try though I might, I can't get you to revert back.

You are talking up a storm. Sometimes in three word sentences even. Grandma told me that last weekend you said "Helaine push Stella". You frequently say "I want it" or whine "I don't wanooooo". You put two words together all the time as in "Stella sleepy", "All done", "right there" and dozens more.

You are a world champion builder of towers. A Picasso in the making (markers being your favorite medium). A shoe-in for the Gold in pole vaulting (you don't get any air yet but you sure do love the trampoline). We are having so much fun in both your gym class and the class at the Children's Museum where you recently did your first painting.







You were very excited when we came home and put it on the refrigerator. You talk about the teacher Guy all the time and love to tell anyone who will listen that there is a painting of a cloud on our refrigerator. You tell this by saying "Painting" "Cloud" led by my appropriate questioning. Stella what is on our refrigerator? "Painting". What is it a painting of? "Cloud". I love having these kinds of conversations with you. It is so much fun now that I can ask you a question and you will answer it. Truth be told, your answers are not always accurate but somehow that doesn't take away the fun of having a real live conversation with you.

This month we had a big big scare. You got a terrible rash on your vagina (which I promise to never ever ever call your privates or your peepee or anything else like that). Dr. Kligler asked me to send him a picture and when he saw it he said we had to come in so he could check it out in person. He told us it might be herpes and we waited four excrutiatingly long days to find out that it was only a bad yeast infection. Yuck. Amazingly, you were in completely fine spirits the whole time. It had to have hurt or itched or something but you never complained. In any event, we were really worried about it and so relieved to know that it was nothing serious.

Auntie Karyn brought your cousin Noa down from Massachusettes to visit you this month and we were reminded how sad it is that you don't see more of each other. You had such a good time with them. Noa gave you a bunch of sparkly stickers and you've been talking about her since she left. You also had a great time showing off your tower building prowess.












We all feel really lucky that Grandma Helaine and Pa Paul live so nearby. They were lifesavers during tech. You had lots of sleepovers with them and they brought you to the theater so we could have dinner with you and see you as much as possible. You are really well-behaved in restaurants which is a great relief. You never create any disturbance at all which is quite amazing to me. You especially like restaurants where they give you markers or crayons and you can draw which you are waiting for your food. One night at the Westbank, Daddy and I were amazed to discover how much you love olives. While we missed you terribly on the nights that you slept out, I don't think you missed us all that much. You have a great time with your grandparents and often ask for "House" which means that you want to go to Grandma and Grandpa's house. Our place is "home", theirs is "house." One of the things that you love to do when you are at "house" is to have Helaine set up the little folding table so you can eat by the window.









I wasn't surprised to learn this as looking out the window is one of your favorite things to do. You especially love to keep your eye out for taxis.

You visited the theater with Mommy a lot this month and everyone was always very happy to see you there. Heather made a particularly strong impression on you and whenever I said we were going to the theater, you would say "Heather." When I told her this, she was very happy about it. Daddy had a great time showing you around the set. He is the proudest father and I know he is already looking forward to when you are old enough to visit him in the studio and he can set you up at a drafting table with all his art supplies and let you just create.

There are so many things that we know are coming and that we look forward to. The circus. Your first joke. Mother-Daughter Tea at Alice's Teacup. Kicking around a soccer ball. But whenever I start to think about something in the future that I am looking forward to, I remind myself to just appreciate who you are at this very moment. Which isn't too difficult because this - right now - is the greatest thing ever.

Love,
Mommy