To Vivian, three months old

To Vivian 3 months old,

How nice that you were born between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur and your 3 month birthday is on Christmas Eve. I thought I would take this opportunity to tell you a little bit about yourself as we observe you so far. You talk a lot! You are the least quiet baby I have ever met. You speak to us all day long. Daddy and I are convinced that, once you learn real words, you are going to talk early and often. Now whatever you are saying comes out like “Ooooooahhhhoahohohoohahooooooahhhahahhaooooo” all day long. You are not so good at sleeping. Getting you to sleep is an ordeal involving lots of rocking, shushing, swinging, and swaddling. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. I like to think that we are just so much fun and such good company that you don’t want to sleep. However, that is a less interesting thought at 3 in the morning than it is at 9 in the morning. So if you could sleep a little more at night, we sure would be grateful. Actually, to be honest, it is not that bad. Every night is a new adventure with its own rules. Last night’s were pretty good – you slept from 6:45-11:45 with just one brief wakeup. Then you woke at 2:30 and 4:45 and were up for good at 6:45. (Yes, that is a good night.)

Our breastfeeding relationship has evolved well which is a good thing because you really don’t like to take bottles. We did go to an ENT a couple weeks ago who confirmed that you had a posterior tongue-tie. She fixed it and then you refused to breastfeed for about 12 traumatic hours. I was so worried that we had broken you and make a mistake by taking you to the doctor. But you always swallowed so much air when you were breastfeeding and your latch slipped a lot and I was worried about you. I do think it is a bit better now but I’m sorry that we had to cause you some pain to get here.

You are unbelievably smiley. When you see someone you recognize and like, your whole face lights up and you kick your feet and make happy, excited noises. It is fabulous. Stella really LOVES this and she frequently gets in your face so that she can see you smile at her. She also loves to hold and carry you and to sit with you on her lap. More often than not, you are very content in her arms and Daddy and I are so happy for both of you, that you have each other.

Although you seem not to love excess noise and stimulation, you are very social and happy in a crowd. Whenever we go to our downtown moms group, you are so happy to see the other moms and babies. You also like to go outside and to be carried in the hug-a-bub which is a good thing because I like having you there. About not liking noise, though – you do startle easily. One time Daddy was holding you in the living room and Stella and I were in your and her bedroom (I say your although you are not yet sleeping there). We heard Daddy sneeze and then you broke out into hysterical crying. That sort of thing has happened a few times with you and loud noises. Like the time your big sister thought it would be funny to run into our bedroom where Daddy was reading to you and go “Rah!!!” really loud. Which was a little funny but also not.

Your first Christmas was a lot of fun. Stella enjoyed finding your presents for you and opening them. I give her maybe one more year of being able to do that before you become a formidable opponent. I remember while I was pregnant thinking about what this holiday season was going to be like with a baby and being so excited about it. The reality was better than anything I could have anticipated minus the sleep deprivation which somehow one just cannot prepare for. Speaking of pregnant, I never got to tell you how much I loved being pregnant with you. After the horrors of the first trimester – of which there were many! – it was so wonderful to have you inside me. I am one of those women who LOVES being pregnant. It just feels so amazing to me and I don’t even mind the insane changes to my body. Especially towards the end when I could feel you moving around so much (and getting the hiccups which you did – and still do – a lot). That was my favorite part. Even though I love having you here – and that is much better than having you inside me – I do kind of miss being pregnant. The end came so quickly and, even though it was on your due date, I was somewhat unprepared. I never quite got to say goodbye to that other chapter which, I guess, is a lot how life always is. We just said goodbye to the cloth diaper chapter and soon we are going to say goodbye to the co-sleeping/you in the bassinet chapter and move you into your crib. Each one is bittersweet as we see you growing older every day. Even the things that I won’t really miss (did I mention the sleep deprivation?), I think I will kind of miss. It is hard to explain.

You have fit into our family relatively seamlessly and, although things are not as simple as they were before you arrived, we are all very happy to have you around. It is almost hard to remember what life was like before you were here.

I love you lots.

Love,
Mom

Vivian at 2 months

We had Vivian's two month check-up yesterday (actually she was one day shy of 10 weeks). Dr. Ben confirmed that she is perfect -- which we already knew. It was exciting to learn that she is now 11 pounds, 12 ounces (that is a slight cheat since I fed her right before we saw him. Had I not, she probably would have been about 4 ounces less. Regardless, she is still obviously growing and gaining well). She is also quite long now at 23 1/2 inches.

Good job growing, Vivi!! I am very proud.

To Vivian, two months old

Dear Vivian,

Welcome to the family. We are so happy and honored to be the people who have the privilege of watching you grow up and seeing what your amazing life will bring. By now you must know your birth story which was pretty extraordinary. Daddy and I were very impressed (and I was quite shocked) that you actually came on your due date. If you continue to be so prompt, your father will be very happy. He deserves a girl in his life who is always on time.

From the moment you came home with us, Stella was so excited to have you. She would run into the apartment when she came home from school and rush to wash her hands so she could come and play with you. She particularly loves to hold you and rock you when you are upset. Amazingly, you almost always calm down in her presence. Daddy and I are so happy that you guys have each other and always will. It seems really special to have a sister and I am so happy for both of you. One day early on, Stella was attaching the bar with toys and music to your bouncy seat but did it wrong and it fell and hit you on the head. You started to cry and then she burst into hysterics. She was so upset to have caused you pain and she ended up crying for much much longer than you. It was really sweet to see how sad she got especially since we had been warned that she might try to hurt you and to be careful about leaving you two alone. We do not have that problem. She is actually your greatest caretaker and is so proud of herself when she can make you stop crying or comfort you. She loves to hold you and carry you which can be a little nerve wracking although she is very good at it and very careful. Rest assured, that as younger children ourselves, Daddy and I have your back and won't let your big sis push you around too much. She is a tough one, though, so watch out.

A little while after we (finally) settled on your name, we decided to bake a cake and have an official welcoming party. Stella did most of the icing herself and was very excited about it.
The next day was Halloween and you were a ladybug in a homemade costume. Your not-very-crafty Mama is pretty proud of herself for having made your costume including knitting a hat for you in only three (count 'em!) days.

Daddy and I are pretty pleased with ourselves now as we think we have finally figured you out. You don’t seem to like any discomfort so we have to be quick to change your diaper. You like to be held a lot and you cry hysterically whenever you are overtired. For awhile Daddy and I could not figure out what that hard crying was all about but then I went to a seminar on sleep where I learned that you should never be awake for longer than 2 or 2 ½ hours and we realized that your crying was often due to a need for sleep. Since we learned that things have been much more manageable. Even when you are crying, though, there is something in your face, in your eyes, in your demeanor that is so sweet. We feel bad because your whole being just looks so sad and sometimes your bottom lip quivers. But it still feels really special to hold you. You are so warm and cuddly. Everyone thinks so.

You absolutely love the bath. As soon as you hear the water running, you become very peaceful and you will hang out with me or Daddy in the tub for as long as we keep you in there. Taking a bath with you has become a vital part of our evening ritual. Usually Daddy takes you in the tub and then I get you out, get into bed and feed you, swaddle you as tightly as possible and put you down in the bassinet. Last night (November 30), you slept your longest stretch so far – 8:30pm – 4:30am. You love the bath, yes, but you hate the pacifier. It is very shocking for us to have a baby who doesn’t take to that little sucking device since our older daughter had such a passionate love affair with them. We keep trying to get you to take one – and sometimes you do for a short time – but mostly you spit them out in disgust. You have, however, found your thumb which you seem to enjoy sucking along with your whole fist which sometimes finds its way into your mouth.

You make the cutest faces and smile a lot. In fact, you also are the smiliest baby I have ever seen. You were smiling – seemingly in response to people – by about five weeks. And now, at nine weeks, you do it all the time. In fact, one of the mom’s from our group whose son is exactly the same age commented to the sleep seminar lady that "Jonah doesn’t smile nearly as much as Vivian." You've set the standard for smiley baby. I cannot describe the feeling I get when I look at you and your face breaks out into a huge grin. It is just magic.

Before you got here, I was a little nervous about what it would be like to bring someone new into our family. I was really excited to have a baby again and very excited for Stella to have a sister and for us to have another daughter. But I was also worried about how you would fit in and what it would be like to go back to the baby phase and how Stella would deal with it all and how I would. Honestly, we had gotten to such an easy, lovely place in our then-family that it was terrifying to upset it all and not know who was going to be joining us. But since you got here, it has just felt so right. As though someone was missing before and now we are complete. Daddy and I have been amazed to discover how great it feels even though we are so sleep deprived. Before we were a couple with a daughter but now we are really a family. Thanks.

We already love you so much.

Love,
Mommy