To Stella, Thirty Nine Months Old

This month's letter need be about basically only one thing -- Halloween. You look forward to it for months planning what you are going to wear and then on the actual day, well, there are no words to describe. This year was no exception. For weeks you were committed to being a blue butterfly. We found all the elements of the costume online and I showed them to you a couple times to confirm that that was absolutely definitely positively without a doubt what you wanted to be. But I took it even a step further and DID NOT ORDER THE COSTUME waiting waiting waiting for the last minute so you had ample time to change your mind. And lo and behold, about ten days before Halloween, you and Ranny were in a toy store where you found a ballerina witch costume which you tried on and fell in love with. Fell so in love, in fact, that you had a crazy temper tantrum in the store when it was time to come home and were, according to Ranny, lying on the floor of the store refusing to take the costume off. Daddy and I were very upset when the minutes past -- 6:05, 6:10, 6:15, 6:20 and still you weren't home. We finally called to find out where you guys were and discovered that Ranny was kind of freaking out in the store unsure of how to get you out of there. Eventually she did but no one could temper your love for the ballerina witch costume. Ever the internet sleuth, I went online and found the very same costume for 1/3 the price. You confirmed that yes, the polyester, tulle and taffetta costume I had found was indeed the Halloween garb of your dreams and, much to my chagrin, I placed the order. (I'm not going to lie -- I was into the seven times more expensive beautiful blue butterfly costume but I know that Halloween is no longer about me so I put my desires on hold in order to indulge your cheaper and tackier ones.) Several days later the costume arrived to much joy and fanfare (from you). You tried it on. Your prayers had been answered. It was just as you remembered it. Days passed. You continued to tell everyone who asked that you were going to be a ballerina witch for Halloween. And then, with less than a week before the big day, you made a confession. "Mommy," you said sheepishly, "I can't wear the ballerina witch costume. It's itchy." What could I possibly say? You clearly had a legitimate reason for having soured on the ballerina witch so we couldn't take the hard line approach -- you buy it, you wear it. And so you decided that you wanted to be a butterfly, after all, although a pink one rather than a blue one. So I went back online, ordered the ridiculously expensive pink butterfly costume and Daddy convinced me to splurge for overnight delivery just in case there was yet another problem. We take Halloween seriously in our house.

Fast forward a couple days. I met you at Grandma and Grandpa's house where you got dressed in your costume which included a dark pink lipstick I bought especially for you. We went to the parade at Washington Square Park. The weather was beautiful -- bearing no resemblance to the cold Halloween's I recall from my childhood. It was so warm that a pink butterfly could walk down the street in a short sleeve leotard and not be the slightest bit uncomfortable. You were so adorable and I wasn't the only one who thought so. We overheard a woman comment that you were the cutest thing she'd seen all day. You weren't that into the parade so we went ahead to the street fair at the parade's end where you didn't want to go on the merry-go-round or any of the rides but were very happy to watch. You were fascinated by all the other costumes and excited to be outside in a costume yourself. We stopped by a party at the Bowery Bar that I had helped to organize (via Trip's house where we went briefly so you could show him your costume) but after just a couple minutes you were ready to leave and go back to Grandma and Grandpa's house to find your trick or treat partner, Clara. When we got back to the apartment, Clara was there in her Belle costume and we all headed out to collect candy. You guys had so much fun ringing doorbells and getting treats to put in your trick or treating bag. At one point, after you rang a bell, a dog started barking in the apartment inside and you and Clara simultaneously backed up several steps. But no one got bitten or hurt at all and a great time was had by all. After an hour or so of candy collecting, it was time to go to Blue Ribbon for Steven's birthday celebration. Ginny came along and gave you a gigantic box of candy from Dylan's Candy Bar. Just what you needed! More candy! You were a happy little girl. At Blue Ribbon you were very friendly to lots of strangers and we had so much fun. But I think the best part of all (or second best after CANDY!) was walking home from the restaurant. It was late -- way past your bedtime -- but you were wide awake and wanted me to tell you what every person's costume was. And we were downtown so some of them were pretty outrageous. This was not your average family Halloween celebration. But it was really splendid and you talked about it for days afterwards. Amazingly, you never asked for your candy after Halloween night so I got to eat lots of it and then just got rid of it. I guess collecting it really is better than eating it.

The only downside to the holiday was that Daddy was 6762 (thank you, Internet) miles away in Japan. While he was gone, we did plenty of skyping so he even had virtual dinner with us a few times with you hugging the computer screen and talking to him excitedly. While he was gone we went to open play at NY Kids Club where you told the coach, "Excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse me! My daddy's in heaven!" She looked at me stunned, unsure how to respond. I just said, "I think you mean Japan, Stella." I guess you were getting Jesus' daddy confused with your own which, come to think of it, your daddy does too sometimes. Maybe it is genetic. In case you are wondering about the extent of your religious education heretofore, you are familiar with Jesus's Daddy because your passion for "Godspell" has not abated even though the production was tragically cancelled.

Grandma and Grandpa have introduced you to dozens of movie musicals and one of our favorite games is to sing a few lines from a song and have you identify what movie it is from. We usually get about three words deep before you shout "Carousel!" "Oklahoma!" "LIttle Shop of Horrors!", "Singin' in the Rain!", "Annie Get Your Gun!", "Sound of Music!", "Cats!", "Shrek!", "South Pacific!", "Hair!", and so on and so on and so on.

We also had a great Thanksgiving celebration this year. You love spending time with family and couldn't wait to get to Beth and Dov's house -- especially once you learned that we were taking a train so you wouldn't have to go in the car seat. You really love the country and were so happy to be outside with Clara and Owen running around playing football. You were a little disappointed not to be able to go swimming, however.

You've fully adjusted to school and seem to even look forward to going sometimes. As long as we find Tina before we leave you are okay. I'm really proud of you and feel so privileged to be your mommy. You were great company when Daddy was away and I'm just so happy to know you.

I love you lots.
Love,
Mommy

Conversation

Mom and daughter are sitting on the couch watching "A Chorus Line" at 7:40am. They have been up playing for about a half an hour. It is a Saturday. Mom has completely forgotten to even ask daughter if she wants breakfast.

"Mommy, can I have something to eat?"

"Of course."

"Ohmygosh! I didn't even have my gummy bears." (note: the gummy bears are vitamins which are typically procured FIRST THING upon waking.)

"Oh no. I'm a bad mommy."

"No you're not. You're a great mommy. Just get my gummy bears."

After a beat. Mommy is thinking about what to make for breakfast.

"What do you want to eat?"

"Gummy bears!"

Parent-Teacher Conference

Last week Daddy and I had the first of what will be a long string of parent-teacher conferences. Even though you seem to really love school now, you were pretty excited to have the day off and you did not want me to leave. I explained that I had to go to your school to talk to your teachers about how you are doing. You replied, "No, Mommy. Don't go. I know how I'm doing. I'm doing great."

I was a little bit nervous sitting on the yellow bench waiting for a conference to begin. I'm not sure what I was worried about since I was pretty sure that the teachers like you and that you are doing really well. But I was nervous nevertheless. However, once the conference began, it could not have been better. Jennifer, Andrea and Cela raved about you. Each one had a specific story to tell about an area in which you are excelling. They told us you are all over the room -- doing art, the manipulatives, helping other children, etc. That you are nice to the other kids and so incredibly independent and capable.

There was a time in the beginning of the school year where I thought your "real" personality might never emerge at school, that you might be more timid and shy in the Sun Room than you are with me and Daddy. But that is clearly not the case and we are really glad that your teachers are getting to know the sparkly, enthusiastic, funny, talkative little girl who lives with us. It seems they see all the greatness in you that we see and that we are not delusional when we look at each other and remark, "we got the best one."

We Went Voting

Dear Stella,

Today is a truly historic day.  Last night Barack Obama was elected President of the United States thanks, in part, to our vote.  And while things are a mess in the world right now, I am hopeful at last that we may be able to leave you a better world than the one into which you were born.  I've been really worried about that and it has been so frustrating to have a political leader with whom I did not agree on anything.  At last we have an intelligent and inspiring President, a true leader, something that I have not known in my lifetime.  I am proud that so many Americans worked hard to get him elected and that our country was able to move beyond race and rally around a worthy candidate.  It is a great day and it was wonderful to share it with you. Daddy is in Tokyo right now but he has been very much with us in spirit.


















After school, you and I walked through the park -- it was a fittingly beautiful day -- to PS 166. We were apparently among the few Americans who did not have to wait on line to cast our vote though I was prepared to wait as long as necessary and to keep you awake no matter how long it took. When we got inside you told me, "Oh I do remember it here" I guess from the primary in which we also voted for Obama together (although that one was a bit of a hard choice). We found our voting booth and went in.













I love the oldie-timey voting machines we use in NYC and I know it is only a matter of time before it all goes digital.  You pulled the lever for me and we marked X's straight down the Democrat row, most importantly for Obama-Biden.  












My eyes filled with tears but you did not notice.  I was so happy and excited and maybe a little bit nervous.  I had a pretty good feeling that we were going to be victorious but there was still a wee bit of apprehension.  Mostly, though, it was the first time in my life that I really felt genuinely proud to be voting and so much a part of the political process.  

A few months ago I went to Pennsylvania to canvass for Obama because I was so worried about the outcome of this election.  Before now I cannot imagine wanting to do something like that. I think, in part, I was moved to do so because I am so inspired by Obama and have such hope for how he can change and influence the world.  But being your mother has also made me care about politics in a much deeper and more profound way than I ever have before.  I really worry about the world that we will be leaving behind for you, your children and grandchildren.  When you are older and start asking me questions about these things, I want to be able to look in your eyes and tell you that I did everything I could.

Even though you said many times today "Go Barack Obama", you cannot understand now how historic and important this election was and I only hope that history will prove him to be the great leader I think he will be.  You had a great time voting (I think the two peppermint candies you were given by workers at the polls helped) and told everyone about it.


















"We went voting. Mommy tell (insert name of whomever we are talking to) that we went voting" was a constant refrain all afternoon and evening.  I just hope and pray that with Barack Obama's guidance, the world you inherit will be peaceful, stable and prosperous.  That it will be everything you deserve it to be.

I love you.
Love, Mommy